Women's Hoops Blog

Inane commentary on a game that deserves far better


Sunday, January 23, 2005

From the mailbag, regarding the sexual misconduct issue:

None of the articles examine the role of the parents in protecting their children, or how to educate parents about what is and isn't appropriate behavior by a coach. That seems almost ridiculous to write, but it's less ridiculous than a coach sleeping over at a player's house!

It seems to me, the parents should be stepping up and teaching their kids that there are clear boundaries between a coach, school sports, and their personal life. Predators look for situations where there is a lack of a clear boundary, and it both enables and protects the predator. NCAA and AAU regulations can help, but surely the first and last line of defense is a strong education about proper boundaries.


Yes, there is much truth in that.

You have to preface this discussion by emphasizing that it isn't about looking backward. There's no reason to point the finger at the parents who've been involved at the Lopez case or any other. That's just another species of victim-blaming.

Instead, we need to looking forward and face the problem. In doing that, we must say that parents have a responsibility to recognize and enforce boundaries.

What should the boundaries be? Of course for starters, sleepovers with coaches aren't a good idea. That one is easy. Other questions aren't so easy to answer.

I would say that we have to adopt a difficult but necessary rule: one-on-one time alone between an adult coach and a minor player is out of bounds. It's sad to be forced to draw that line -- we are no doubt throwing out some good things with the bad -- but I think it has to be done, just as it has been done in other contexts (churches, schools, etc.) across the country.

So if we have some boundaries in mind, and we agree that parents need to be educated, the next question is: who is to act as teacher?

Here, again, I think we need to look to AAU, the NCAA, the WBCA, and state high school leagues. They have some ability to educate, and they have some responsibility. In addition, the media can and should play a role. Thank god for the great reporting from the Denver Post, the Seattle Times, and Albuquerque Tribune, and now ESPN The Magazine -- they have helped to raise awareness of the problem.

And really, awareness may be the best cure we have. The goal isn't to make parents hysterical or to make them approach every coach with suspicion. The goal is simply to make parents aware of a potential problem so they can take common-sense steps to avoid it.